Trevor's Introduction... of sorts

I would daresay that the rest of the contributors already know who I am. I would also venture to say that this will likely be one of my shortest posts I've done so far (if you've read Ponderings and Musings, you will know that I have a tendency to write too much). My story in a nutshell is as follows.

I grew up in a Christian home and went to church and youth group and was basically a goody two shoes (although after taking my pre-employment polygraph for the police service I certainly didn't feel like a goody two shoes. Imagine all of your deepest darkest secrets from the time of your birth until now and explaining them in detail to a stranger who will know if you are lying or even not telling the whole truth. I imagine that is how judgement day will feel. It sure motivates a person to not have any secrets! Ahem. Enough for this bracketed aside). I was basically brought up in a fundamentalist evangelical setting with all of the other sub-cultural baggage that goes along with it. After High School I went to CBC and obtained a Bachelor of Religious Education. At CBC some of my pre-constructed theology about God was demolished, but for the most part I was still able to remain in the fundamentalist evangelical mold.

Upon completion of CBC, my wife and I moved to Japan where we lived for 3 years. It was there that I began my ride down the slippery slope of post-modern Christianity. For it was in Japan that I first began my personal studies of the Ancient Near East - and Assyriology in particular. For me it was much like that scene in The Matrix where Neo is offered the red pill and the blue pill.

Morpheus: I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he's expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: 'Cause I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind -- driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Neo: The Matrix?
Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?
(Neo nods his head.)
Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, or when go to church or when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. (long pause, sighs) Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
(In his left hand, Morpheus shows a blue pill.)
Morpheus: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. (a red pill is shown in his other hand) You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.(Long pause; Neo begins to reach for the red pill) Remember -- all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.(Neo takes the red pill and swallows it with a glass of water)

I felt that I was not told the whole truth regarding the Bible. I felt somewhat deceived and, for lack of a better term, brain-washed. In many ways, I feel like I should have taken the blue pill and forgotten all of what I have learned and found out and go back to the way I was. But on the hand, would I really want to go back if I could? It's obviously too late now. Of course the analogy only goes so far. Anyway, the more I read about Assyriology, the more I found out that my presuppositions about the Bible and my faith were not entirely (if not at all)correct. I won't get into those details here. To hear about what I was studying, you can go and read my little essays I have posted on Ponderings and Musings. Needless to say, I was unable to continue being the Christian I once was and began my journey into a new kind of faith. This journey is still continuing (as is most people's journey of faith). Often times I feel like I am alone in what I believe, which is why I am personally excited about this blog as it will give me a chance to dialogue with others who will not condemn me as a heretic.